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Welcome to
Ask Comagirl

Need a sympathetic ear? A shoulder to cry on? A heapin' helpin' of good advice? Then zap me an email and let me know what's on your mind. I'm not a doctor or a psychic or a psychiatrist, but maybe I can supply some common sense for what ails you.  See below for details and write soon!

Featured Dilemma:

The man I love is married!

Dear  Crushed,

Oh, how I've been in your situation.  You just KNOW you're the perfect person for someone but life doesn't work out the way you want it.  Been there, done that, taken the Prozac and moved on.

Speaking of moving on...honey, you are living in the kind of Fantasyland that Walt Disney could only dream about if you think that anything it going to happen with this guy.  Face it: he's married.  And even if he gave you every indication that he might be interested in you, it doesn't matter now because he's got a wife (who probably isn't too thrilled with the idea of someone crushing on her husband remaining friendly with him).  Let him go.

Yeah, I know...easier said and all that.  But do you really want to spend the rest of your life sighing and crying over a guy who only barely knows you exist?  You say it's been eight years now...if he hasn't made some kind of move by now, then it's just never gonna happen.  Please, for your own sake, forget about this guy and move on.  If it helps, concentrate on all the really crummy things he's done in the past and stop idealizing him as the 'perfect guy'.  He's not, or else he would have been smart enough to notice you eight years ago.

Wishing you the best of luck,

Comagirl

Dear Comagirl,

Here's my problem: I've been madly in love with a guy for years and he's never given me the time of day.  He's a really nice guy, and I even liked him back when he was kind of goofy looking, with thick glasses and braces.  We went to school together, and I thought everything was good between us-we were friends, but because we were both shy, neither of us made the first move.  Then he went to college and joined a fraternity and met some sorority girl on a blind date.  All of a sudden, they're dating and I'm left out in the cold.  Then they moved in together.  Then they got married.  Meanwhile, my friendship with this guy is out the window.  I've had a crush on him for almost eight years now, but now I hardly ever get to see him.  What can I do?

Crushed and still crushing

TALK TO ME...

If you've got an interesting dilemma (or even an uninteresting one), please write and share
your problem with me. I'll try to answer all questions (either online or through personal email). Include your email address (though that will not be included online) and a pseudonym.  Names will be changed to protect the inqusitive.  Hope to hear from you soon!